So here I am

2009 has proved to be the ultimate test. I started the year completely spent with no ability to deal with anything. If it wasn't for my enormous support network; BMT nurses and doctors, my family, Megan's family, friends and especially Megan -I wouldn't have made it this far. Over the year's I've gotten to know most all of the BMT nurses and doctor's. They've been there for me time and time again. They've kept me in line, laughed with me, hugged me, picked me up and carried me at my weakest moments...not sure I could ever thank them all properly but I try.

Meg's parents have played a crucial roll over the past year also. They've already been through enough before I came into the picture. I carry so much guilt that I've brought their daughter into this mess but they continue to accept me and treat me like their own. I really enjoy spending time with them. Meg's mom Brenda always makes fantastic dinners then sends us home with a bag full of groceries...she's the sweetest. Her dad Tony has become a good friend and confidant to me and always has a positive take on the day. Her younger brother Bryn reminds me of myself at the same age and makes me laugh whenever I see him. He's always up to something and I find myself living through him. He had some serious health issues not so long ago and has made a tremendous comeback. He's become a fantastic skier and is living the 22 year old dream...what a guy.

Through out the winter and spring I worked hard on rehabbing my body by using strength bands, yoga and lots of walking. Megan or my dad would take me walking whenever I asked and by May I was pumping it up some good size hills. My goal was to be able to make it to Europe for Megan's cousin's wedding in early June. I was really feeling the pressure as I knew it was a critical point in our relationship. If I didn't make that trip Megan would have been devastated and rightly so. I managed to keep it together and got the OK from the doc's. We had the most amazing trip- London, Paris and Amsterdam in 10 days as that's all the time they could safely give me. I started to fade in the last two days of the trip and rested in the hotel but it gave Meg some time to shop in Paris so it all worked out. I got home and became ill spending the next few weeks on the couch-it was worth it. The rest of the summer was great-enjoyed plenty of sunshine, several trips to the Okanagan and lots of time with friends. Come September I could feel something change and soon my doctor gave me the news that I had relapsed. I can't say I'm not devastated at least I was. They started me on a drug that I tried before but only for a short time. It was just a trial drug then but I was quickly taken off due to low blood counts. It has since become a successful treatment for many myeloma patients including my mother but last week I had to stop because of swine flu complications. So here I sit in the BMT ward, in isolation..still got the swine, waiting for the next plan of action to take care of this relentless myeloma. I'm feeling strong and ready for whatever they throw at me...I'm waiting!