Sunday, November 15, 2009

One long day...

The past few weeks has become one long continuous day. I take it hour by hour constantly shifting looking for the longest amount of relief I can get out of one position. Sometimes I sit up, sometimes even stand but mostly laying propped up on my back. I enjoy it when I'm well enough to walk to the car for an appointment. It's more like a swagger cause I feel like a pimp in my baggy sweat pants and hoody. It never lasts quickly turning into a panicked shuffle as I become short of breath desperate to sit down. The pain meds are masking reality and giving me some comfort. I've been non existent to Megan just a drone who mutters occasional non sense. Bedtime means nothing just a continuation of the day as I slip in and out of a medicated state. I'm up every hour to pee, pace or move into a new resting position. Sometimes I turn on the radio, read or maybe listen to the TV. The background noise dictates some entertaining dreamlike scenarios for me...which I enjoy as I know I'm getting some rest. What will it be tonight?...maybe a good eighties movie where Corey Haim and I can battle teenage angst or a cooking show that makes me so hungry I wake up craving an exotic food I've never heard of!?

Speaking of craving my buddy Jesse came by tonight with fresh Cactus Club thai wings something I've been craving all week. He and the family are heading back down south tomorrow after a week long visit. Sad to see them go but looking forward to heading down that way to spend some time someday soon. Jesse and I always have good talks, talks that you only have with a few people in your life. He's always been like a brother to me and I'm so proud of the life he has created for himself...he deserves it.


  1. hey man...

    doing my normal checking in....keep fighting...your in mine and amandas prayers...

    i love the updates on the blog...amanda and i would like to visit soon...

    tell me what you think man..

    love ya


  2. Thinking of you always - miss you.
    Amazing blog - I start everyday with you - It brings me a sense of calm to know I'm kinda in "the loop".
    While I would love nothing more than to give you some sort of dig -as per our relationship - today I'm going have to just say love you and am extremely proud of you. Very soon the digs will be back. I know it.

  3. chad,
    B showed me your blog; I read it every day. Hang in there !!! You are in our prayers.

    Terry Waldrop

  4. Hey Buddy,
    Jen told me about the blog-inpiring to say the least. I am so proud of you for sharing your story...your strength & persistance is more than inspiring...lot's of love to you and Meg my dear are always in my prayers...smiles and hugs..Tanya Petroff

  5. Hi Chad,

    Thank-you for sharing the info on Eva's story. I just watched 65 RedRoses. Powerful.
    What an amazing young woman.

    You - you're an amazing man. I appreciate your updates and your "bring it on attitude" that comes through some of your writing, even though you've already said meds are necessary for some comfort.

    You're in my thoughts often and in my prayers (such as they are) as well.