One long day...

The past few weeks has become one long continuous day. I take it hour by hour constantly shifting looking for the longest amount of relief I can get out of one position. Sometimes I sit up, sometimes even stand but mostly laying propped up on my back. I enjoy it when I'm well enough to walk to the car for an appointment. It's more like a swagger cause I feel like a pimp in my baggy sweat pants and hoody. It never lasts quickly turning into a panicked shuffle as I become short of breath desperate to sit down. The pain meds are masking reality and giving me some comfort. I've been non existent to Megan just a drone who mutters occasional non sense. Bedtime means nothing just a continuation of the day as I slip in and out of a medicated state. I'm up every hour to pee, pace or move into a new resting position. Sometimes I turn on the radio, read or maybe listen to the TV. The background noise dictates some entertaining dreamlike scenarios for me...which I enjoy as I know I'm getting some rest. What will it be tonight?...maybe a good eighties movie where Corey Haim and I can battle teenage angst or a cooking show that makes me so hungry I wake up craving an exotic food I've never heard of!?

Speaking of craving my buddy Jesse came by tonight with fresh Cactus Club thai wings something I've been craving all week. He and the family are heading back down south tomorrow after a week long visit. Sad to see them go but looking forward to heading down that way to spend some time someday soon. Jesse and I always have good talks, talks that you only have with a few people in your life. He's always been like a brother to me and I'm so proud of the life he has created for himself...he deserves it.