Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Bitter Sweet

After another long day and many visits from the various doctors who are following my case it was decided I could go home. I was so happy to take in the fresh air as my dad pulled the car around to the front of the hospital. For that moment I forgot about everything, took in a few deep breaths, a short walk to the car...best I've felt in weeks. Even the car ride home was fun, I felt like a little kid seeing the city for the first time. I arrived home to a clean apartment and Meg looking for a kiss. Our new couch had arrived last week so I hadn't seen it yet and was so excited that it fit. It makes things so much cozier in this little apartment. My friend Jesse and his wife Nicole arrived from Louisiana today and came by for a visit tonight...so good to hang with them. They're here all week staying with family so we should see lots of them.

It's nice to be home but I'm not feeling great, my kidneys aren't improving and my disease is running wild. They still don't have a plan for me although my doc is working hard to find something. The cancer agency rejected a bid for a therapy that has helped me in the past and now he's trying to get in touch with the company that makes it to see if they'll release some to me. My cancer is very aggressive and everyday counts so I'm feeling like someone is kicking me in the stomach over and over...could also be constipation but either way. Anyway I will take it hour by hour, day by day and enjoy my time away from prison. Meg has the day off tomorrow and I'm expecting some visitors in the afternoon so I'm excited for that. If I wasn't so uncomfortable things would be easier but cancer has no conscience and feels no remorse for what it does to its victims. It's taking all my focus to keep it together and all I really look forward to is those moments when I feel the symptoms ease and I can be myself.


  1. Yeah!!! So glad you are home! I never thought I'd say this to anyone.....I hope that it is constipation........XO

  2. Hey Chad,
    I'm not sure if you realize it or not, but I think you've created a whole bunch of internet stalkers, with your Auntie Pat and I being among your biggest fans. We seriously both check your site about 10 times a day to see if there's anything new. I've so enjoyed reading all your posts, you're a really good writer, a natural in fact, so keep it coming! I was thinking, if you start to run out of ideas, maybe you can go back and start verbally attacking some of those who have gotten in your way... the one about Dr. Life-Support and getting him in the gonads was a good one, I've gone back and re-read it a few times! Keep it up Chad! It's all very inspiring, entertaining (and I mean that in only the most positive way!) stuff!
    Hope you had a good day on your new couch with your amazing girl. Love, Kin