Saturday, October 31, 2009

For all of know who you are!

I don't even know where to begin this...being sick is such a selfish thing and I've had a hard time dealing with that side of it. I hold a lot of guilt because I've had to miss some of my best friends weddings, births of their children and various other major events because I haven't been well enough. I'm so tired of that bullshit excuse and I think at some point I began to withdraw myself from people because I didn't want to disappoint them anymore. I think at times I can look quite well to the outside world but looks are deceiving. There have been stages in the past 9 years where I've had some treatments give me a better way of life especially early on but the past 3 or 4 years have been rocky. It's hard cause as time goes on people have families, advance in their careers and all I can say is that I'm still fighting cancer, still waiting to start my life. Don't get me wrong I worked up till a year ago and did what I could to advance myself and was very grateful to have a forgiving workplace. But I didn't have the energy to fully commit cause I needed to use that energy to fight.

Anyway I'm really grateful to all my friends from growing up in Lethbridge, to West Van High, my North Van gals, my Louisiana life(my home away from home), the NSWC and my Hollyburn peers. I've learned so much from you and you've given me so much support. I really appreciate you all and the laughs we have many laughs. That's what I enjoy about facebook you can keep up with everyone from as far back as you remember, see their children, wedding photos, everything they're willing to share is available for viewing. I guess I just want people to know I'm thinking of them on their special days and I often reflect on our times together...cause I got time to think....cause that's what I do! Just cause you don't hear from me doesn't me I don't care and that I don't tell Megan all our crazy stories. Looking forward to new stories and more laughs. Until we meet again......

1 comment:

  1. Hey Chad-ly,

    I don't even know where to start. I had no idea all you have been through. I have such fond memories of you and the gang. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.


    Tracey (Eskelin) Collier